“Like so many young women of my generation, I had rushed into marriage with the idea that love and family would save me, though I didn’t think of it in those terms at the time. They were beliefs inculcated in us so young that they governed the way we lived, insinuated themselves into our minds. Perhaps they ran even deeper in me; I was not looking for a conventional life, but for profound consolation.”
Hi folks,
In case you hadn’t heard about Gisèle Pelicot, she is a French woman whose husband, for 10 years, had been drugging her to the point of unconsciousness and inviting random men into their home to rape her along with him. She found out when local police, who had discovered evidence of the rapes while reviewing her husband’s electronic devices after he was charged with looking up women’s skirts at their local grocery store, informed her. She and her husband had been married for almost 50 years. They had three children and multiple grandchildren. The evidence obtained also included illicit photos taken of their daughter and daughter in laws without their consent.
For a decade, Gisèle suffered from blackouts, memory lapses, and gynecological issues that doctors couldn’t explain or chalked up to old age. These were later understood to have resulted from her husband’s drugging and repeated assaults.
Now it might be hard to reconcile those horrific facts(her husband confessed) with the smiling woman on the cover of her memoir, but that, in my opinion, is the somewhat divisive point of her book. In an oversimplification for the purpose of this review, horrible things happened to her but they would not define what was essentially half of her life. Her husband is a man who did very bad things but there were some good times that she will not throw out with the bathwater. Much to the chagrin of some of her children.
I followed the story in the international news when it broke so I was familiar with the broad strokes of the case. In this memoir, you get to hear from Gisèle how she chose to deal with the events everyone was reading about. How deeply it fractured her family and how she feels about being considered a hero for women all over the world.
It’s a compelling read about a remarkable woman’s life and her refusal to lose her smile.
Have a great week!
Stardate:2600009.08
She is such a strong woman. What her husband did is unconscionable. To be able to have enough compassion to see some good in him – a fiend who betrayed her in the most cruel and despicable ways is a testament to an immeasurable resilient character. It’s interesting her commentary that she rushed into marriage and that she was looking to be saved. I’ve heard that doing so can lead people to bonding with toxic individuals, as we really need to heal ourselves and cannot be saved by others. This is not to victim blame in any way shape or form but, I definitely think that society at large teaches girls especially that marriage (being desired or taken by a man/partner) is fundamental to a woman’s worth.
Hence, many women find themselves in unsatisfactory relations with men of poor ability in all ways. Yet, the same cannot be said for those deplorable men who tend to believe that they should have access to anyone they choose despite objection, rejection, or even sedation (!) of their target. These types of stories make me so angry as she did not simply unknowingly settle for a dead beat man but, a lowlife criminal predator pervert – the worst of them all! Of course she did not know that he was that thing and that is the terrifying part. I did hear of her story but didn’t follow it deeply, however I watched her interview where she surmised that the shame belongs to him and all the other men who partook in such depravity. Absolutely!
I’m not sure if I can stomach the read but appreciate your insight. Her story is a valuable one to tell and its amazing that she has found love again which again shows her ability to not let bitterness and resentment overtake her. She is indeed a hero.
Author
I completely agree. I do think that it was a different time for women when she was coming up. The mindset of marriage being fundamental to a woman’s worth is still being pushed but there really were fewer options for women outside of marriage before. That’s why I think the whole tradwife resurgence is so sad and strange. It’s like one step forward and four steps backward in some cases. Don’t get me started. LOL!